Thursday, February 25, 2010

Brother's IB Application Essay

Dear Reader,

3 pretty exciting things happened today. I'll list them in the order they happened.

1. My application to the PIBS (Pre-International Baccalaureate of Studies) got brought to the High School.
2. Mom got her biopsy.
3. Brother finished writing his application essay to PIBS.

This morning Mom got a call from Moffitt saying that they have an appointment available for consultation if she got there as soon as possible. So, she woke me up and told me she where she was going. The first thing my sleepy mind could think to say was, "Please drop off my application on the way."

Mom got in the car with my application and raced to Moffitt.

She called me later and said that they were going to try to get her biopsy done today while she was there. It is a little frightening how quickly Moffitt wants to get all this stuff done for her, it makes me think that they are really expecting to find something. They did the biopsy and then Mom was on her way home.

While she was gone, I got an email from Mr. I'm-In-Charge-of-the-IB-Program saying that my application was received. Okay, so I emailed him first to make sure it got there safely, but I was just checking on it...

Brother came home and he worked on writing his essay application for the PIBS program. You have to have it written in your own handwriting to turn it in, and it has to fit on the given space. Tomorrow is the deadline. His essay is really good. I'm glad I read his after mine was already delivered because I might have felt the need to rewrite mine again... I've written 5 different essays so far and rewritten the 4th and 5th ones too many times to count. Brother only wrote one draft and one final and his was great. That stinker.

I asked him if I could post his essay here on my page, and he agreed. So, I'm going to do that now. See, Mom gets her results from the biopsy next week, and Brother and I get the results from our applications by March 15th. So, depending on news about that I might not have space for the essay later.

This is Brother's writing prompt:

The International Baccalaureate program of studies aims to develop students who are Inquirers, Knowledgeable, Thinkers, Communicators, Principled, Caring, Open-Minded, Risk-Takers, Balanced, Reflective.

Considering the above, write the best essay that you can that expresses which of the above traits are your strengths and which are your weaknesses.

And this is Brother's essay:

IP Learner Profile: My Strengths, My Weaknesses

Here's just another essay to critique. What makes this one unique? That's right, nothing! I am very much like all of your other high profile applicants. I excel at being open-minded and inquiring. However I'm not a caring person, nor am I well principled.

To begin with, open-mindedness is my greatest strength. You may have guessed this from my introduction. In group work, I tend to be the one with the most ideas, but I also listen to the ideas of my peers. It's not because of my good looks that I'm almost always the first pick to be in a group.

Second is my most piercing weakness; I am not a caring person. In most cases, it's your own fault for the predicament you're in, so why should I go out of my way to help? Once, a classmate asked me to spare him a pencil. In order to administer him a pencil I'd have to discontinue my work and rummage through my binder for him. So instead I say, "Learn the hard way."

Another strength of mine is that Im an inquirer. Remember that saying, "It's curiosity that killed the cat."? I think I very well could be the reincarnation of that cat. In fact, a few days ago I rediscovered a remote control sports car that was once my childhood obsession. My traits of inquiry further provoked me, and I found that after all this time it still worked. Diving deeper, I dismantled what was once the only thing I cared for in order to perceive how it functioned. I swear if I had been born before Newton, I'd have been the one to give gravity a name; probably a cooler one too.

Lastly, I have a weakness in principle. Sometimes I just blatantly slip away from my usual angelic self. There are many instances in class when I complete my word or soak up the lesson too proficiently. With this time to myself I sometimes end up taking a nap, talking, or in the worst cases, throwing paper. Although I believe that in the IB program there will not be time for insubordinate nonsense; nor will it be tolerated.

All in all, this concludes my self assessment. My strengths reside in being open-minded and inquiring. My weaknesses are of being caring and principled. Maybe I'm not like the other applicants after all.

Pretty good, huh?

Reader, if you want to read my essay, I will post it, but it isn't like Brother's. It isn't funny or smart or very different. Brother just wrote his and I worked on mine for weeks. If our essays weren't so different I would say that his is definitely better than mine, which seems so unfair considering I worked on mine for weeks and he just breezed through his... I guess he has a flair for writing.

If you are interested in reading my essay, please comment or contact me some how. I know now that most of you know very well how to get a hold of me :-) If I get 8 comments or messages of interest in my essay I will post it. I usually get 3 or 4 comments (My #1 Fan, My #2 Fans, and Polly I can practically always depend on, and I'm starting to get more frequent message givers, which is really exciting!) so if I get double that then that probably means somebody really is interested.

To leave a comment, go to and scroll down to the end of the post that is there. You will see the word "comments" underlined and there might be a number next to it. Click on the underlined word "comments" and then a way to leave a comment should appear. If you can't figure it out on your own from there then you have an ID ten T error and I can't help you much further.

If you are an email subscriber, if you just treat it like a regular email and hit "reply" the message you send will go straight to my inbox. A surprising number of you did this when I wrote about it raining here, so I know you know how to do it.

I have to go to bed now,
Sincerely, Miss E.


  1. Can I comment 8 times?

    Probably not ;) Common readers, let's get this essay posted!

  2. Consider this request number two! We are praying for good results for #1 fan! Nice essay brother but I guess I'll never ask to borrow your pencil.

  3. Not that I want to compare you to brother but I would like to read your essay too. Your mother must be so proud of her loving and intelligent children, she is such a blessed woman.

  4. I would definitely like to take a peek at your essay. I'm sure it would be extraordinary after all the revisions you made.

  5. Pretty interesting post! Thanks it was interesting.

  6. I am currently writing my essay as well for pre ib and looking for some inspiration this really helped!!

  7. this was very helpful. I am in the eigth grade and I want to go into pre-IB as well. I need to write my essay but I have no clue how. I have been looking for examples and if you revised yours so much then it must be wonderful. It would by really nice if you posted it!!!

  8. 8th !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lets get that essay posted!

  9. I'm writing a PIB essay (application) right now. I'm in 8th grade and I'm one of the brightest kids you may meet. I have 2 problems at the moment. First, my intro. One of m greatest weaknesses in life. The hundreds of essays I've done, the intro is so painful and heartstabbing. My second Problem, is the 2 question prompt. Ive never done this before and it seems quite foreign.
    If you have any ideas or suggestions please email me ASAP

    I appreciate all help and i love everyone that cares enough of the common soul

  10. last email is carr

    again, thanks in advance to all

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