I'm home now. I arrived yesterday night. I am very excited, actually I don't know that excited is the word, but I am very happy and I guess a bit giddy. Well, it is like this....
I am a happy, jolly, jubilant kind of person most of the time. I think some people see it as kind of dorky.
For example, when I was in the 7th grade and I went to school I attended a school pep rally. They sat the middle school in the bleachers in 3 columns. If you faced the bleachers, the 8th grade was on the left, the 7th grade in the middle, and the 6th grade on the right. I went with my REACH class, and sat (of course) next to the teacher. My class occupied the very front row of the bleachers, and when I looked to my left I saw right across from me in the very front row of the 6th graders, my brother! So, of course I started to try to get his attention, and when we made eye-contact I smiled a super smile, shouted, "Hi!!!" and waved to him with great enthusiasm. He acknowledged my kind greeting by my making an "L" with his index finger and thumb and placing it upon his forehead.
Anyway, that feeling that caused me to smile and wave with such great enthusiasm is what I am feeling now. I guess that would be excitement, right? I don't know. I'm feeling this feeling because I am, for the first time in over 5 years, without any kind of line inside my body.
I have no port, no mid-line, no broviac, no IV, no nothing. There is no rubber or metal or anything inside me right now.
Its kind of like a bra. You start wearing one pretty early on, and you get really used to it. It becomes a necessity. The girls feel right when secured in a good bra. When you take off your bra, you feel a certain loose freedom, maybe a little exposed, like you couldn't go out in public. However, the feeling is also kind of nice and definitely one you could get used to. That is how I feel now, bra-less. Bra-less and excited.