Yesterday House told me that the plan was for me to go home today. So, I might be going home today, but I might not be to. Nothing is set in stone for me really...
Anyway, the lab came into my room this morning at 6am to turn on my light and wake me up, oh and to draw my blood too. This lab lady did a little better though, she didn't use the super bright light and she used a nice voice. It is a big improvement from turning on all my lights and saying, "Its time to draw your labs!" with no effort at gentleness or quietness. She did a good job.
So I was up a bit early because of my lab draw. I went to use the facility after she left and when I got back in bed I thought I might like to check my email. So, I got out my iTouch that my #2 Fans got my for my birthday and went to town. The only new message was from facebook saying that I have a friend request from a girl I used to go to school with, so I got out of "mail" and went to facebook and accepted.
I was snooping around her facebook page, you know, checking it out. I hadn't seen the girl since two years ago in the 7th grade. I was reading her info, and well, it made me upset. So, that is why I'm on here and not sleeping.
In her info it basically tells her name, says she "took my first brath of polluted air in america" 14 years ago, currently lives in "this piece of crap they call a state, florida", and has a simple life that includes "guy troubles, parent troubles, sibling troubles..... the usual". I just found that upsetting.
After reading this, I turned off my toy and tried to go back to sleep, but was unsuccessful. I kept thinking about that girl and about Big Wig's son who is here on 2SW right now.
Big Wig is the mother of another transplant kid on the floor. Her son is older than me. She is code-named Big Wig because she likes big wigs and wants to wear them. Her son is here on the floor right now. He just got moved here from the ICU.
He got transplanted after me, so I'm farther post transplant than him. His donor was his brother though, and he was considerably farther along in recovery from his transplant than I was. He was already going and doing a lot of things, and had energy a lot of the time. He had two types of cancer before his BMT (bone marrow transplant). One was a solid tumor one and one was the kind that a BMT would cure.
I think I'll code-name him Iron Man. Last time he was in ICU he hadn't slept in so long, so they game him drugs to induce sleep. It made him have crazy dreams and apparently he was a contestant with his brother on an show where you compete to become the "iron man". Plus, I think he is really a real "iron man" of sorts, I mean he seems to have that air about him.
When we got to clinic the day I was admitted, Agent 99 asked us if we had talked to Big Wig recently. We said, "No. How is she? Is something wrong with Iron Man?" She told us that he was in the hospital, and we could ask Big Wig about it once we got here. Mom asked if it was good or not and by the way Agent 99 said, "No." you could tell that it wasn't.
Iron Man is on the floor now, they brought him up from the ICU a couple days ago. His solid tumors are back. They are on his spine and they are growing super duper fast. The medical professionals are saying that "It's not good." Its the kind of not good that has the nurses tearing up in the hallways and makes them go silent when you enter their area. The doctors told Big Wig that if they choose not to treat, they could send Iron Man home and he might have a month.
Iron Man can't walk anymore because of the tumors, but he is the Iron Man. Apparently he doesn't feel like giving up yet, he wasn't to fight. So, I'm not really all that worried about him. He's not going yet. People seem to know when it gets close to their time (especially kids) and Iron Man really doesn't seem to have that "Its my time." thing going on. My dad says (when he's having one of those "I'm the epitome of wisdom." moments) that you never die until you lose the will to live, and Iron Man seems to be far from losing that.
Anyway, so I was thinking about Iron Man and about that girl. If the air is so polluted and Florida is such a "piece of crap", then just... Well what is her problem?!?! What is wrong with people!?!?! Why can't they see the beauty in things, or be thankful or something? Why is everything in their lives so terrible and how come everything "sucks" or is "retarded"? Its not! And it just gets me.
One of the great things about being a human is the freedom. It's a big responsibility and all that, but we can make our own decisions and have that whole "free will" deal going on. She could leave anytime she wants to, and if it is so awful here, then why does she stay? You know what I'm saying? She doesn't have to live on earth if it is so polluted and poopish. She can leave if she really wants to, she has that choice. It would hurt those who love her, but if its so awful here and she would be happier somewhere else....
Iron Man doesn't think the air is dirty or the state is crappy, and people are telling him to pack his things and get ready to go......
I know I'm really strange in this area, I look at things totally different than most people, I know, but maybe you can understand. There is no doubt that Iron Man needs prayers, but in some ways he is a lot healthier than other people. I'll pray for them both, but I'm only worried about one.