Introducing Matilda

Dear Reader,

I went to clinic today and they almost had my bra put back on. My creatinine (kidney function number) was 3.2. Which is really high and not good at all. I had been off my IV fluids for about a week and was on 1 gram of Ciprofloxacin everyday. I had only been taking 500mg of Cipro everyday because it is hard on kidneys. However, since House was my doctor when I was in patient and not my darling Patch, my kidney wasn't considered as much as it would have been normally.

However, Patch knew that I had been drinking and labeled the extra Cipro as the culprit the moment she saw the number. So, I'm not taking it anymore, ever. I'm going to start Penicillin tomorrow instead.

I was really surprised by my bad kidney number. I wasn't expecting it. I had been experiencing lack of energy lately, but I didn't think it was because of a high creatinine. I thought that it was because of lack of sleep or maybe a decrease in my prednisone amount (I went from 10mg alternating with 12mg daily a couple weeks ago). I was leaning more towards sleep deprivation.

I haven't been sleeping very well because my mind has been so packed full of stuff. I think about Iron Man everyday, and earlier this week I learned that my friend, Matilda, has relapsed too.

Matilda was my roommate a long time ago, she was only 4 years old then. I was 11 or 12. She's 7 now. When I met her she was the smartest kid I had ever met, next to myself, of course. You could tell by how she communicated with people, and other things too, I suppose. She was already starting to sound out letters and read. That's why I named her Matilda.

She was a great room mate and we quickly became friends. We had little parties together that included ice-cream, teeny tiny spoons, and popcorn? maybe it was something else. We also played Barbie Beauty Shop. A fun game that we made. One of the nurses had told us how she used to color Barbie's Hair and I thought "What a good idea!" So, we got our hands on some Barbies, and child life (the toy/activity people at the hospital) hooked us up with some washable markers. Our nurse brought us barf buckets and soap to wash Barbie's hair and nails, and then we dyed her hair and painted her nails with the marker. Some times she got small tattoo jobs as well.

It was a lot of fun.

I read about her relapse on facebook two nights ago. When I read about it, I went to Mom's room and told her right away, so she could pray for her. Then I went back to my room and I sat on the floor and cried for about 30 minutes.

I'm not one to say that kids should never get sick. I'm not one of those people who say, "Oh! How can this happen to a child!" or "These things shouldn't happen to children!" I am a child who's been sick for most of her memory, I know that children are humans, just like adults. And with being a human, you have the right to the imperfections of humanity, such as sickness. It doesn't mean that I want kids to get sick, it just means tha

t I don't think that is is wrong. It is just part of being human.

I knew this would probably happen to Matilda. Her kind of cancer keeps coming back until it takes you out. The longest a person has been known to life that has had her kind of cancer is twenty years. Having said that and thinking that at the time, still the only words my brain could come up with were, "Not her." I just didn't want it to be her…

I wanted her to be the one that didn't make any sense.

So that was keeping me up. Then I started to think about Iron Man. How all his doctors just keep saying, "Its not good." How all he could move from the waist down was his left ankle and some toes because his tumors have crushed the nerves in his spine. Might be paralyzed for life.

I was up until about 2:30 that night. Me and Mom met in the living room at about 1:30, she couldn't sleep either. Her thoughts were full of them too. She took an non-non-drowsy allergy pill and her, Baby, and I tried to get to sleep on the couch. Mom had to leave eventually because she's old and can't get comfy enough on the couch, but Baby and I stayed. Baby stayed with me until I fell asleep.

Dogs are cool like that.

Anyway, then next day was Thursday and I felt pretty lousy. I was in and out of bed until 2:30pm napping. Mom even canceled my home-bound school so I could recover, and I did. By that night I was fine.

Then today was my clinic day. Mom bumped into the Swain Princess with a blanket and a barf bucket in the hallway, she has the flu. Which is a serious thing for her. I got to visit with a bunch of Hawks after clinic, it was really fun. I had an especially nice time talking to the very talkative 4-year-old hawk-let.

When I got home I found out that Iron Man's doctor told him that he might only ever be able to move those few toes and his ankle on his left side, and he didn't like it. He worked and worked until his big toe on his RIGHT side moved. Just like a real Iron Man.

Happy Hanukah,

Miss E.